Rock Haus

I want...

I want the sun to come out already. 10 days of rain is NOT helping my psyche.

I  want my upcoming long weekend in Chicago to NOT fly by in a nanosecond

I want to save enough to get the computer and camera i want by the end of the year (which with the new gig isn't completely out of the question)

Next year I want to spend 6 weeks in Europe

I want to show my Dad that I'm not just an immature whiny slacker by refusing to seek full time salary/benefits employment around here, to do this I must make something of this photo effort, pronto...but first need camera and computer...

I want to be published in a proper publication by the end of next year (by proper I mean one that people have heard of since nobody *I* know of reads Inside Counsel)

I want to lose another 10lbs

I want to shoot portraits again

I want to shoot live music again

I want to do the 365 project but just can't seem to stay on track with it for more than a few days.

I want to get a gallery/coffee house/living room of someone other than me just HANG MY WORK SOMEWHERE by years end

I want to assemble some semblance of a functional social circle around here so I don't feel so desperately alone and pathetic when I  find myself with absolutely nothing to do and all I want is to hang out and shoot the shit with someone who isn't my dad.

I want to be able to think about Mum without setting off down a dark and twisty path that leads me to a bad place or immediately driving any thought of her from my head so as to avoid the inevitable trip to the bad place.

I would like to think about getting out of this podunk shithole without overwhelming wave of guilt at the thought of leaving. Dad. all. alone. (this isn't something I plan any time soon, much as i would like my own place i want equipment and 6 weeks in Europe more)

I want to stop with the self doubt and crushing moments of "who the fuck am I kidding my work is garbage and behind my back they're all snickering at the idea I think it's any good, I should just accept that I did something awful in a past life and go find a nice soul killing administrative job", there are much shittier photographers than me who have done quite well for themselves.

I'm pretty sure I've posted this picture on here before but I still really like it and therefore don't care.

I want to stop making this list and go to the gym.

bye.

Well...since i't's been a month....

Where to start...

When we last left Lis, she was feeling mighty angsty, Mothers Day was a tough one, her birthday approached, she and Sluggo were circling the drain...

Fast forward one month:

The decision to run away for my birthday may have been my best decision of the year. I had an amazing time. Birthday dinner (sushi noms) with Cammille and Dave, a couple of v. fancy Martini's at the Clover Club. The next day was spent with Camille, Rachel and Paul Morrissey at Coney Island which is THE MOST AWESOME PLACE ON EARTH.

 I took lots of pictures, That night after a nice fish and chip dinner at The Chip Shop, had a couple of drinks with Richelle, who was in town for the paper show. The next day before my train we had a nice diner brunch, browsed a couple of shops, took a walk in Prospect Park...

I managed to pack a whole lot of awesome into a very short trip (OMG - I forgot about the B&H store - holy crap if there was a Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory for Photographers, this would be it) and there wasn't even the slightest *hint* of self pity to be seen...

Having returned renewed and refreshed, well...hmm..

I got a second job, part time office manager, just started yesterday. It isn't the least bit interesting but pays better than any PT gig I've had before and should enable me to save the money I need for my new computer and camera - hopefully by years end. Still working the gym but cutting back a bit so I can at least have one whole day off a week, and I still don't have to be anywhere before 1 in the afternoon, those who know me are certain to understand that this is a significant advantage...

Bought a vendor space at Milltowns Return, will be hawking my photos of hotrods, I don't think I'll make a ton of money but I hope to break even. Also going to open up an Etsy shop, website should go live soon...at which point I will actively start trying to whore myself out. Went and shot at the 100percentkulture.com show a couple weeks back:

Sluggo and I are done, but I think we'll be friends, and that's a good thing, because he's pretty awesome. I should have known going in it was a bad idea, how many times have I declared NO MORE GEMINI MEN. When will I learn? They're just all so goddam compelling.They're sexy and funny and good fun to drink with, and in some cases, very good boyfriends to girls who are't me, but me? they DO NOT WANT.. Perhaps I've finally learned my lesson... If I say I'm gonna date another one, please, I INVITE YOU TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE AS HARD AS YOU CAN. And yes, of course it's the gemini's, it's not me - I AM PERFECT IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED.

I'm off to Chicago in a few weeks, can't come soon enough. After that I'm stuck here for a while as I try to save some cash, but Milltowns will be a weekend in lovely and glamorous Palmer MA, and I'm hoping to get a few folks to come out for it...

Er....yeah I guess that's about it...