I want...

I want the sun to come out already. 10 days of rain is NOT helping my psyche.

I  want my upcoming long weekend in Chicago to NOT fly by in a nanosecond

I want to save enough to get the computer and camera i want by the end of the year (which with the new gig isn't completely out of the question)

Next year I want to spend 6 weeks in Europe

I want to show my Dad that I'm not just an immature whiny slacker by refusing to seek full time salary/benefits employment around here, to do this I must make something of this photo effort, pronto...but first need camera and computer...

I want to be published in a proper publication by the end of next year (by proper I mean one that people have heard of since nobody *I* know of reads Inside Counsel)

I want to lose another 10lbs

I want to shoot portraits again

I want to shoot live music again

I want to do the 365 project but just can't seem to stay on track with it for more than a few days.

I want to get a gallery/coffee house/living room of someone other than me just HANG MY WORK SOMEWHERE by years end

I want to assemble some semblance of a functional social circle around here so I don't feel so desperately alone and pathetic when I  find myself with absolutely nothing to do and all I want is to hang out and shoot the shit with someone who isn't my dad.

I want to be able to think about Mum without setting off down a dark and twisty path that leads me to a bad place or immediately driving any thought of her from my head so as to avoid the inevitable trip to the bad place.

I would like to think about getting out of this podunk shithole without overwhelming wave of guilt at the thought of leaving. Dad. all. alone. (this isn't something I plan any time soon, much as i would like my own place i want equipment and 6 weeks in Europe more)

I want to stop with the self doubt and crushing moments of "who the fuck am I kidding my work is garbage and behind my back they're all snickering at the idea I think it's any good, I should just accept that I did something awful in a past life and go find a nice soul killing administrative job", there are much shittier photographers than me who have done quite well for themselves.

I'm pretty sure I've posted this picture on here before but I still really like it and therefore don't care.

I want to stop making this list and go to the gym.

bye.

Comments

[Jess'ca]

I want more news and pictures.