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Came across this image doing web research on 50's Chevy Ambulances (how cool is that that I get to trawl the internet for car pron as part of my job?) I then giggled like a 12 year old boy and sent it to Mrs B:
Miss Lis:Of all the things I'd want my car filled with, this isn't one of them...
Mrs B: I got a very disturbing flash of that totem beak the kid is sitting on working as a lotion/soap dispenser, bringing forth the spunk.
Yep, it's all highbrow humor with us.
Another heavily photoshopped camera phone offering...
Had a few of the gals round for noshing and boozing Sunday, thanks to those who came, I had fun, I drank a lot, I ate an unseemly amount of bacon and the better part of a monkey bread. After everyone left and I had taken a nice nap, I disposed of any and all non fat and calorie friendly foods* I am now ready to resume my path of healthy eating…the goal is to be back in the old jeans (which I currently couldn’t put on even with the aid of a tub of Crisco and a crowbar)
*With the exception of the cookies Sophie brought, as they are unsurpassed in their yumminess and to throw them away would be blasphemy! And besides, Sophie is a vegetarian, how bad for me can they be?
Still temping at the same place, still like it very much. Still waiting for them to hire me. It’s not that it hasn’t been mentioned, it’s just slow going, and experience has shown me to believe nothing until I’m signing on the dotted line. In the meantime I have keys to the office, my own email address, a building ID that makes me look like Joey Ramone, ultimate power of the collectors forum, and the quarterly newsletter has been officially deemed *my* baby (see Sarah you keep telling me I should have a baby, now I do!). Word is one of the mucky mucks from corporate will be in the office at the end of the week. Hopefully, when he sees how awesome I am, this will help speed up the process…In the meantime I continue to work 3 jobs, and really rather hate working 3 jobs…but I got to bartend last night (despite nasty Jagermeister incident this past Wednesday) B&V Bossy-wossy seems interested in getting me more and more experience bartending, I’m hoping this means when we get the good movies in a couple of weeks and we actually have some substantial business that I will get to work..I’d be happy to ditch the Saturday gig tho, not that it’s difficult, I’m just thinking it would be a lot easier to work 2 jobs 5 days a week than 6, and the extra $$ is nice, bit not as nice as sleeping in. Alas, again, until they hire me I’m not giving up any income resources, since next week they could be all I have. Ideally, in a few more months, I’ll be full time permanent here, done with the mart, and bartending once or twice a week. This is my goal. Good thing also is this office would more than likely tolerate me adjusting my schedule to accommodate working til 2am a couple of times a week.
In brief.
I’ve mentioned before that I have no tolerance for baby talk (and by no tolerance I mean it makes me vomit), at the new gig my position is v. customer service oriented (YOU! In the back!! Stop snickering, I will have you know I can provide impeccable customer service and if you don’t believe me call me here at work and ask me a really stupid question)…I have quickly learned that, if you’re a grown man, FUNNY VOICES ARE JUST AS NAILS RAKING DOWN THE CHALKBOARDY AS BABY TALK. I am NOT your five year old grand daughter, please refrain from talking to me in voice usually reserved for compelling bedside tellings of the Three Little Pigs. It creeps me the fuck out.
Can you think of anything better than giant penguins? I didn’t think so
I was fairly disgusted by this lawsuit and am delighted to hear that th judge ruled in favour of the defendant. What kind of person must Roy Pearson be that he can actually bring this lawsuit and NOT feel like the biggest douchebag on the planet? Did he even consider the havoc that this would wreak on the lives of the people he was suing? Seriously. I hope this guy gets a scathing case of hemorrhoids, and a chronic stomach infection.
The image quality on my new phone isn't great but I like playing around with the images in Photo Shop.
I’ve touched on this before but there seriously needs to be an ordinance sanctioning the bludgeoning of horned out teenagers playing tongue hockey on the train, ESPECIALLY before 9am. At least I had my Pod to shield me from the noises. The horrible horrible noises.
While on the subject of the train, there was a woman waiting on the platform and then riding on the train with me this morning who had no shoes on. BARE FEET ON THE TRAIN. To the uninitiated in the ways of the Chicago CTA – much like any metropolitan mass transit system, it’s not exactly hospital clean in there, in fact I think I’ve seen every possible body fluid that we disgusting human creatures can exude (and yes I mean ALL OF THEM) on the floor of the CTA at some point or another. Add to that the commuters who were clearly raised in a New Jersey landfill and think nothing of disposing of half empty fast food cups of soda, partly eaten food, used Kleenex on the floor…So in addition to the thrilling possibility of acquiring a host of unpleasant afflictions, there’s the additional “eeew – sticky” factor. I’d like to note this woman didn’t look crazy, or homeless, in fact was dressed better than I, and sat there reading the Wall Street Journal. Mrs. B suggested that perhaps it was a walk of shame of some description…now sure, I can see perhaps coming from a night of wey-hey-hey sans knickers, but shoes? Really. Not to mention she didn’t bear the look of faintly ashamed smugness usually worn by someone who just spent the night acting like a dirty pirate hooker. All I can say is if one of my feet ever touched the floor of a CTA vehicle I might actually have to get it removed, of course I won’t even walk on the carpet in my buildings hallway with bare feet.
Last night I got to play with the alcohol at work again. Considering we nearly closed due to lack of interest (which is really to be expected considering we had this piece of crap foisted upon us by the movie distributor (SHAME on you, Willam H. Macy!!! SHAME SHAME SHAME!) I actually made about twice what I came in expecting to walk with…I topped off the evening by smashing an entire bottle of Jagermeister – way to go me! We’re supposed to get better movies in the coming weeks. I’m hoping this will lead to more bar time.
In other news….
I went to see Frisbie at the Empty Bottle last week. They’re gonna be doing a month long stint at Schubas, and there’s an outside chance they may be using the red shoe image you see above for their posters…no official word yet..
I got a new phone. Now working on pushing wireless bill through the roof through the use of bells and whistles I really don’t need. Seriously, I don’t NEED to check my email on the train, but boy howdy I’m doing it anyway. I may as well just get “sucker” tattooed on my forehead. I’m sure after my first 3 digit phone bill I will be able to see the lunacy of this far more clearly. In the meantime, anyone need to know what the weather’s gonna be next week? Cause dude, I can totally check it from my phone…
Speaking of tattoos, hoping to be getting my next one some time this summer, just have to go visit Brian and have him work up a design from my pictures. (yeah, I went to art school and should do it myself but let’s not forget I was a photo major and was sent into remedial drawing class sophomore year (which Id like to add I passed with flying colours despite being ragingly drunk for most of it). Brian did my other tattoo, and has done some gorgeous work on both Mister and Mrs Bridget, so I trust him completely to see my vision and bring it to fruition. I’m getting it on my shoulder (to start with (???!!) hopefully it won’t ruin Christmas.
No doubt all my friends with wee tots will be seeing this on the Christmas lists...
This is hysterical. God I love The Onion.
I'm interested to see what next week brings. Might be good news...
I actually had the whole weekend off. I accomplished bugger all. I'd had grand aspirations of doing all my laundry and finishing the painting in the living room and hanging some shelves and art...nope. Friday night I worked, after that I went with Char Mar Superstar to Underbar for a beer and a sample of some damned tasty sipping whiskey. Went home at something only vaguely resembling a respectable time..rather than go to bed I instead elected to answer a late phone call, which led to not getting to bed til 5, I then of course was unable to get up at 8 as I had so nobly indended. Miss Jessica woke me up at 12:45, inviting me to answer the call of Natures Meat On a Stick, and I was off to Ribfest. After greedily stuffing my little piggy face with Gale Street bbq, I went home where I DID in fact clean my kitchen and go to the grocery store (the only things I DID get done on my list) Later Miss Jessica and I headed over to Simons, only to be thwarted by the Mayfest crowd, we ended up over at Matilda, and then L&L and then yet again, I'm going home too late. This morning I got up and made cucumber salad and thought about how I have a million things to do, headed out to Miss Sarah's afternoon shindig. Walked there, walked home with Mrs Kate and Miss Fiona (well Miss Fiona didn't walk, she was wheeled) Came home full of ambition, and promptly fell asleep on the sofa. Well done me.
I've elected to take the "I work all the goddamn time and I deserved a weekend of doing nothing".
Yes I know I'm just lazy.
Remarkable the effect of one little word.
As if it wasn't bad enough that I missed the guy walking down Belmont wearing nothing but Y-fronts, dress shoes and a red tie. I later came to find out it was Rocky Horror night at Berlin, but I didn't know that at the time.
But then the other night I was waiting to cross Damen on the way to a party at Sophie's I saw an old Honda approaching with no headlights on. The passenger side rear window was smashed out and a plastic bag had been duct taped in its place. Not so outstanding I know but see what made it interesting was that it was being piloted by a clown, rainbow wig, full makeup stripey clown onesie outfit, wearing sunglasses (at 11pm) and smoking a joint.
One of my pictures is currently featured in a Girl Metro ad running in Giftware News (trade paper) and Chicago Social Bride. If I ever get my hands on a copy I will post it, because I'm a dork that way.
