Rock Haus

So naturally...

...my train was 15 minutes late this morning...I'm *still* cold 3 hours later, but on the plus side, none of my extremities have turned black, and I can now feel them all again.

MINUS EIGHT DEGREES. (-26 with wind chill!!)

You must be fucking kidding me. Getting to work today is gonna be a real treat.

I'd better slather on the Bag Balm before heading out if I don't want to spend the day with skin texture normally reserved for those who have been rolling naked in super glue and cornflakes

FUCK this.

Jeezy bloody buggery creezy.

Okay, I know I live in Chicago, and I know I've seen it this cold before, but as El Q so eloquently put it earlier - Jesus Fucking Christ! Tonight would have been a good night to stay in under a blankie with a cuppa tea, but I had to go down to meet El Q at one of his jobs at a local music venue, to talk to his boss about the possibility of my making a triumphant return to security work*. That's right kids. Not full time, not a whole lotta work at all, but a little something, if I get it....my point...ah yes - BRRRRRRRRR! When I got back home I was never more tempted to embrace my radiator, and not in that *shoulder to shoulder just friends* kind of hug, oh no, I'm talking a full body pressed against it, *I really fancy you* kind of hug...

Last night had Hamstress, El Q and Scarrie round for pot roast, beer and reality TV - because we know how to party. Tomorrow night's Rock Haus movie night (as I did get the DVD and am seriously considering social retirement till spring). Saturday is the big day, heading down to the World of Wheels with Mr Chris, Miss Julie, and Silent Ron, then Saturday night, Polkaholics at Quenchers - Hot cars and Polka - can you imagine a better day?? I certainly can't.

*To those not in the know, I worked school security at college.

Complaints du jour...

(insert sound byte of me making infernal whining noise here)

1. Work today is just not moving the way I'd like. I'm bored...not without things to do mind you...just bored.

2. My computer is all fucky and uncooperative (no doubt due to, at least in part, the daily beatings the keyboard endures from my boss' kid playing games on it when I'm not here...)

3. I don't have a million dollars. I DESERVE a million dollars, but I don't have it.

4. Due to extreme cold my skin is dry and tight and hurty and generally not at all sexy.

5. Still another 7 hours till I get potroast and beer...

Feh...

Winter is very much in the hizzouse. It's cold and snowy and windy, but that's not what I have a problem with. Not being a person of vehicular enhancement, I rely on either CTA or walking to get from point A to point B...so my gripe is with the two inches of icy slippery death coating the sidewalks...in soft or frozen form, it matters not, I hate all of it and it has made it abundantly clear that it hates me right back. There's something about being forced to hobble around like an old lady with an armoire stuffed up her backside, that leaves me particularly stabby.

I think I'm gonna buy a dvd player and stay in til spring.

Oh, yeah, I meant to mention...

As you all know, Captain Kangaroo passed away on Friday - like the rest of you, I was saddened by this. Not having spent my early years here in the states, he was not an integral part of my childhood, but during the summer when mum and I would come to spend a few weeks staying with my Grandma, Captain Kangaroo was on my list of required TV viewing, so I was sorry to hear he was no longer with us. More upsetting to me, however, was the death of Helmut Newton. Newton has been one of my favourite photographers for many years, and although my interest in fashion photography has lagged over the years, I continued to find his darkly erotic images compelling. I will miss his layouts in Vogue, and perhaps even more, I will miss the angry letters from offended bible belters, that inevitably followed in the month after....

Both of these men made a contribution, both of them will be sorely missed.

Weekend update

Rather uneventful weekend overall...went to Foot on Friday with Hamstress, Mr. Chris and El Q...was supposed to return to Foot on Saturday night with Miss A. and Union Jack but that didn't work out...so spent the night at home watching movies, which is probably just as well...tonight went to bother Hamstress at her beer slinging gig w/Silent Ron...that's really it, no real madcap excitement...buggered around with Photoshop a bit, not as much as I intended to - v. lazy all round this weekend...

Off to bed now....will hopefully return soon with something slightly more interesting.

In a world gone mad

How am I supposed to just go about my day like everything is normal, like everything is okay, when Bennifer is no longer? Black is white, up is down - NOTHING WILL EVER BE RIGHT AGAIN! I mean, if those two crazy kids can't make things work in this big bad world - how in the HELL am *I* supposed to? [/sarcasm]

I can only hope this means that Ben will be dropping this blousey metrosexual thing he's been doing and go back to being the scruffy drunk we all fell in love with.

Crack Smoking 101

Note to self - even if the climate in your apartment is nothing short of tropical, when you take out the garbage, and it's 7 degrees outside (-9 with wind chill), it is NOT advised that you scamper out to the dumpster in shorts and a tank top.

The horrifying moment when I thought I'd left my keys in the house (I didn't) - that was the best part.

brrrr.

Fortunately I have some lovely socks sent to me by Molly to warm my frozen tootsies. Thanks love!

Since I've nothing to say, here are some amusing stories...

“I admit that the friends we provide are not very talkative,” Susanne Schmidt told reporters at her offices in Berlin, “but think of the positive side. They are good-looking, guaranteed not to argue with you, promise to be there all the time, and don’t leave dirty dishes, pick their noses, or argue over the TV remote control. In fact, their only disadvantage is that they’re just two-dimensional photographs pasted onto the wall, but hey, nobody’s perfect.”

Earlier, Schmidt and her co-designer Andrea Baum had unveiled the latest additions to their Singles wallpaper range, which has become a best-seller in Germany. “We came up with the idea after reading about those CDs of toilets flushing and vacuum cleaners sucking that lonely Americans put on, so they can pretend there’s someone else in the house with them. We thought the same thing could be done visually, with life-size pictures of well-groomed people that you can stick on the wall and talk to. Each fake friend is acting out four different scenes – in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, and bedroom – so if you buy the complete wallpaper set, you can have them in every room in the house. We’ve been amazed at how well they’ve sold, and we’re now planning to create personalised partner wallpaper, for couples who work apart and only see each other at weekends.” (Euronews, 5/1/04)

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“Russia is traditionally an alcohol-hardened nation,” deputy prosecutor general Sergei Lubenets told a press conference in Volgodonsk, “but even by our standards, this competition was deeply irresponsible. So far there’s been one death, four others are fighting for their lives in the local hospital, and a dozen other contestants only survived because they were rushed to a clinic for an emergency stomach pump. Yet so far we’re at a complete loss to find any criminal charge that we can bring against the organisers.”

Lubenets was speaking after a vodka-drinking marathon contest in southern Russia had resulted in an epidemic of alcohol poisoning, and at least one fatality. “About fifty people took part in the event at a local food and drink shop. Each contestant was given a bucket of vodka, filled to the brim, and a half-litre glass, and told to drink an entire glassful each time a bell was sounded. By the fifth round, most of the participants had fallen over and were unconscious, but Alexander Nakonechny kept on refilling and draining his glass, and threw up his hands in celebration when he was declared the winner. The prize was ten bottles of vodka, but after taking a celebratory swig from the first bottle, he shouted out ‘I have shat myself’ and dropped dead on the spot.

“Over 40,000 Russians die each year from alcohol poisoning, and the last thing our society needs is competitions that encourage more of this ridiculous drinking. If we can find grounds to charge the organisers, then we’ll prosecute them, but let’s face it. If people are reckless enough to enter a contest than involves drinking themselves to death, it’s hard to blame anyone else for their stupidity.” (Baltic Times, 27/11/03)

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“We weren’t being brave, we just couldn’t understand what he wanted,” staff at a bookmaker’s shop told the High Court in Glasgow. “He pointed what looked like a gun at us and kept saying ‘give me the money or...’ but he had a speech impediment, and couldn’t finish the sentence. We knew he was up to no good, so we pushed the alarm button, but he was still spluttering and stammering when the police arrived to arrest him, so he never got his money.”

Earlier, prosecutor Peter Hammond had described what happened when Thomas McPherson, 40, had tried to rob the William Hill bookmakers in Copland Road, Ibrox. “He kept trying to say ‘give me the money or you’re going to get it,’ but his stutter got worse, and the women tellers couldn’t make out what he was saying. In his frustration, he climbed onto the counter and banged on the anti-bandit screen, trying to be understood. Eventually, the women realised that he wanted money, but they’d already pressed the alarm and he was still banging on the screen and stammering when the police arrived with CS gas canisters and batons.”

McPherson admitted charges of attempted robbery and threatening behaviour, and was jailed for six years. (Glasgow Herald, 20/11/03)